Making Decisions - Ice Cream Sandwich Or Cheetos?
I've never been great at making decisions. In fact whenever I'm faced with a decision, I usually ask everyone from my parents and friends to the random person sitting next to me at the bar and the mailman. I make pros and cons list and think through every possible outcome, but still it's nearly impossible for me to make a decision.
Most of my indecisiveness comes from being terrified that because I don't have enough life experience and I'm not a "grown-up", I'm just a young twenty-something who thinks she knows everything, that I'll make the wrong decision. I also hate the fact that I even have to choose, like can't I have it both ways?
Unfortunately, as I get older I'm faced with more and more decisions and I can't choose both options. This isn't second grade where I get to have an ice cream sandwich and Cheetos; I actually have to choose. So, normally what I do is make my pros and cons list, flip a coin about a billion times and ask everyone and their mother for their opinion, then I go with the option that was most decided upon by my family, friends and annoyed strangers.
Recently I had to make a decision that I, surprise, didn't want to make, so I did what I normally do, but this time the people I asked all kept telling me that this was a decision I had to make based on what I felt was right for myself. Cue the thoughts in my head - "I'm twenty-three and you want me to make this decision?" "What if I have no idea what makes me happy?" "I obviously have no idea if I'm asking you." And those are just a few of the many thoughts that went through my head.
Then, I made a pros and cons list. There were many pros to each and a few cons for each. After, I flipped a coin -- heads was option A, tails was option B. Option A won the first round and option B won the second round. I was about to flip for the third round when my phone went off at 7 p.m. It was my daily devotion app notifying me.
I had obviously already been speaking to God about the situation for a while, but still wasn't sure what to do with my situation. Again, I know this is all way too complicated, like damn Brittany, make a decision, but I'm telling you, I was terrified. Then, I read my devotional and it was like God was speaking to me. It didn't make my decision for me, but I knew that whatever decision I made, God would still be with me and would be watching out for me.
So, for the first time in my life probably, I took my giant leap and made my decision based strictly on what I felt. It didn't come down to a flip of a coin, a vote or a list of pros and cons, it came down to what the little voice in my head was telling me to do. Sometimes you have to trust that voice, know that God is with you, work your ass off, stand by your decision and have faith that everything will work out.
I saw something the other day that said "you asking for a sign, is a sign." I'm a huge believer in "signs", that something will be placed in your life to make you make a decision, but that's not always the case. Sometimes you asking for a sign is the sign.
I'm not saying that I made the "right" or "wrong" decision when I finally chose between option A or option B, but I made a decision that I came to on my own even when it was hard and for that I'm proud of myself. Decisions don't always have to be right or wrong either, sometimes it's just a change and neither of them are wrong.
Also, update on my plants because I received a couple messages about those -- something has sprouted, just can't tell if they're flowers or weeds yet, but hopefully flowers. I will keep you posted though.
FYI -- National Rosé Day is this Saturday, so cheers to you.